Butts | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: Butts

Supposedly, the journey to the after-life is long. And so, I’ll need my grill and some prime-ass steaks for the long ride.

Michael and LeBron do not like mountain climbing. They’re just not any good at it. Conversely, Baby Goat can scale a mountain like nothing.

OMG Literally Dead Plant: The most common millennial houseplant, it comes in all varieties that ultimately end the same way---dead AF.

If a stranger with a black eye winks at you on the street, that’s a surefire giveaway that your cats are pedalling human violence for profit.

10:00 A.M: A phone call! Could it be an inteview? No, just those Mormon missionaries you gave your number to during that “Who am I” phase in college.

Negative and disgusting things you should save until at least the second date, if you're lucky enough to get that far.

It should have been easy—they're basically small, furry cows devoid of complex needs or even souls. What I could not foresee was rebellion.

Specific sweater styles that tell him you're open to the idea of talking about maybe taking it up the butt, maybe. But probably.

The new NYC system utilizes colors corresponding to varying degrees of air pollution emergencies, each color representing the air smell of the day.

I'm a man who took more than half a month tracking down a bird with nothing but the shirt on his back and an $800 bird costume. A proud man.

First of all, son, I'm not angry with you for peeking downstairs. I just want you to tell Daddy more about the man you saw Mommy kissing, okay?

Hey you, filthy nasty Garbage. I feel like we got off to on the wrong foot, but let's get back on track: you'll never amount to anything.