“Compact Car Only” Parking Spaces: The Lies and Deceit
First they came for the handicap spaces. Then they came for the compact car spaces. Then they came for the entire parking lot and I had nowhere left to park.
Tag: Cars
Upcoming Scenes from “Law & Order: SUV”
NBC aims to lock down the suburban demographic with their gritty new spinoff series capturing sport utility vehicle drama.
How to Completely Empathize with Road-Raged Drivers
At the Deep-Seated Mentality Driving School, we pride ourselves on initiating drivers how low their brethren can sink, and how they must be prepared for the worst.
The Absolute Douchebag’s Guide to Driving
When selecting a truck, always remember the golden rule: the bigger, the better. This rule will apply to almost everything we talk about, other than your tank top.
Why I Think Jaws Should Be Remade With a Car Instead of a Shark
How am I supposed to be stricken with deep-sea terror when I know Martin Brody is more likely to die by Range Rover than shark attack?
How the Zombie Apocalypse Changed the Used Car Game
Good morning! I see you're looking at our selection of zombie-proofed vehicles. These certified ZUV's are very popular now and we've got quite a few nice ones in stock.
Driving Etiquette for the Future
Of course we'll have flying cars in the future. But there's more to driving than cars; there's going to be a whole new driving etiquette based on personal responsibility.
The Party Tow Truck
Anyone who calls a tow truck must be in a shitty mood because their car just broke down, what better way to cheer them up than bringing automotive help AND a party?!
The 14 Epic Shortcomings of My First Car
This is the story of my first car, a 1995 silver Ford Thunderbird. It went by many names, most of which incorporated four-letter words I screamed when one of a million things went wrong.
The Five Stages of DUI Grief
Here are the five stages of grief, normally helpful when coping with the death of a loved one, applied to your dreaded DUI.
How to Speed Your Way Out of a DUI
If you want people to forget you pissed yourself, then shit in your pants. If you want a cop to overlook driving under the influence, step on the gas.
Why America is Better Than England
We won the war, we drive on the right side of the road, and we could care less about Victoria Beckham. Clearly, the U.S. is better than England.