Your Middle Schooler’s “Youth in Government” Field Trip Itinerary
After running out of per diem, your child will unwisely accept financial help from their Russian pen pal.
Tag: Children
So You’ve Reverted Back in Time to Your Sixth Grade Self Knowing Everything You Know Now…
You're eleven, and first thing's first---everybody is going to be super impressed that you, an eleven-year-old, are already reading Hemingway.
Best Picture Reviews by Me, the Dad of a Six-Week-Old
Conclave: Based on the summary that my childless friend gave while dropping off a tray of lasagna, I found this story unnecessarily hard to follow.
Relaxing Vacation Spots for Moms
Buckle in for the getaway of your dreams. A luxurious solo spin in your very own 2009 Honda Civic.
Saving the World Is Much Harder as a Spy Adult than It Was as a Spy Kid
No one warned me about grappling hook elbow after the age of 25--now my physical therapist owns a foreclosed volcano lair thanks to it.
Fatherhood Is Great, but I Think Being a Lifeguard in 1997 Was Actually the Best Job I Ever Had
In those days, the money and pool snacks seemed to flow as freely as the hose we used to spray down the concrete when some kid dropped his nachos.
Letter of Apology to the Film Crew of My Optional 4th Grade Winter Break Assignment
I AM IN AWE of how you pushed through your lower back pain and chronic prostatitis to get out the giant Rubbermaid containers of Lego.
A Checklist for the Babysitter
The children do not eat fruits or vegetables. It’s important that they do not consume any kind of plant, nothing that has been grown of the earth.
You, a Teenage Babysitter, and I, a 47-Year-Old Father Driving You Home, Will Get Through This Silent Car Ride
I mean, surely five minutes have already passed since I started this internal monologue. Oh, it’s only been 30 seconds? Well.
As a Professional Bouncy Castle Inspector, I Take My Job Very Seriously
The public thinks this job is all colorful vinyl and happy bouncing. They're wrong. Catastrophically wrong.
A Nonjudgmental and Nonthreatening Pediatric Dental Questionnaire
1. How long have you been putting this off? a. One year. b. Three years. c. Five years. d. My child is, if we must get technical, a member of Generation X.
How to Impress People as a Dad
Stimulate Your Baby’s Senses: But avoid actual stimulants, like coffee and Red Bull.