What to Do When You Catch Your Child “Playing Epidemiologist”
Remember questions from children come from bewilderment rather than an impulse to influence those in power to use policy to promote population health.
Tag: Children
I’m the Woman in the Car Commercial and I Should Definitely Divorce My Husband
The keyless key fob is another amazing tool, even though I constantly have to search the house because my dumb husband lost it again.
What Critics Are Saying About My Debut YA Novel “The Altitude Between Us”
“With monotonous passages that seem to drone on and on, it felt at a certain point like the author himself had switched to auto-pilot.”
Why I Decided My Housekeeper-Nanny-Therapist Doesn’t Deserve a Holiday Bonus
Ever since our housekeeper-nanny-therapist, decided she needed to “protect her mother” during what are her “last days,” things have been a wreck.
FAQ for Babysitters of Potentially Demonic Children
Playing outdoors can also be fun, but make sure to avoid unsafe areas like large bodies of water or ancient burial grounds.
What to Do if Your Mother Keeps Hinting that You, The One True Begotten Son of God, Should Really Give Her Grandkids Already
Every Chanukah for the past seven years she kept telling you she doesn't want you to buy her anything, with “BUY” and “THING” in air quotes.
Ten Best Toys for Wealthy Tots
Baby's First Oil Field Science Kit – Rebuild a scale model of the oil fields owned by great-great-grandpa Thurston Moneybags III!
Hallo Children, It’s Struwwelpeter from Your Nightmares, and I’m Here to Address My Alleged Filthiness
Edward Scissorhands is a revered cultural icon and I'm just a smelly, obscure German freak. The hypocrisy is unreal.
Winter Soups That Will Give Your Kids Something to Cry About
One week of these scared straight soups and your offspring will be begging for another Allrecipes "Easy Cheesy Noodle Family-Friendly Casserole."
Franz Kafka’s Bar Mitzvah Speech
The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Again, And This Time I’m Not Unshrinking Them until You Promise Not to Leave Me
Don’t worry, I’ve left them with enough food to last several weeks, which in this case is a bottle cap of water and a couple of croutons.
My Mom Ages Beautifully; I Become More Haggard by the Day
She goes to bed early, after washing her face and applying night serum. I go to bed drunk, after forgetting to brush my teeth or remove my contacts.