Children | Page 15 | Points in Case

Tag: Children

Any stick that has touched a rotting carcass or been rotting carcass-adjacent must become part of the permanent collection immediately.

The mortician had examined Mr. Bear’s three major organs: the soft and cuddly organ, the unconditional love organ, and of course, the colon.

Attain Zen. Zen means knowing if you are smiling and crying at once, you are making a rainbow.

Please don’t reopen school. I won’t be able to make it another year with those behemoths suffocating me with their skeevy, pudgy fingers.

Goodnight Moon, Good Morning Historical Materialism – Goodnight conflict theory. Goodnight modes of production. Goodnight lumpenproletariat.

Donald Duck will wear a mask, but still no pants. / All t-shirts reading “I Survived The Tower of Terror!” have been reprinted to read “I Survived!”

No amount of social distancing would save you and your family from the terrifying bacterial grasps of our public pool.

Must project Buddha-like calm, possess mixologist-level cocktail skills, and know when to keep the kids out of my “home office."

Maybe you should have married into more money because it turns out teaching IS its own job: a 2020 "In-The-Time-of-Coronavirus" jobs list.

Ever gaze over your huge pile of thousands of children's teeth and ask yourself, "How can I make this mountain of kid teeth even larger?"

May 2020: The Tale of Peter Rabbit - Wherein we root for the villainous Mr. McGregor, because we know too well how much his backyard garden means.

Nothing says “Don’t sacrifice me!” like breakfast in bed. An omelet and fresh coffee is the perfect way to warm Dad up to the idea of sparing you.