Children | Page 18 | Points in Case

Tag: Children

The bedroom. The native language here has more than 50 known words to mean “anxiety” and the local motto is “we’re totally fucked.”

I am a swim coach for kids. That’s right, I spend my shifts in a cesspool of germs and boogers.

"A badass mama protects her child! Your belly will be full of pilates-toned gristle and blond hair after you’ve mauled Cassie from your mom group."

The 2 things I love most are corduroys with ridges so deep that you can slide a can of Coors Light in there, and making sure my son thinks I’m cool.

These uncovered trash bins might as well be a Bigfoot buffet. And one Bigfoot taking a dip in your pool will permanently clog the filter with hair.

No Driver's License Bumper Cars: Like bumper cars, but only the child drives. You have to sit and incessantly pumping the imaginary brakes.

It is true that I carry a mobile phone, which I use to stay in touch with my grandchildren. It is not true that I use it to play Candy Crush.

Clear your neural browser cache before interfacing with your child’s subconscious. Good neural hygiene begins in your own prefrontal cortex!

Kids need to vent, and it’s likely a normal, natural response to having watched some other parent’s kid do drugs.

Meet supplier to get product. Supplier got goods from distributor. Distributor doesn’t know you or want to. Don't ask questions, just sell.

The small remote controls the volume and the tall remote controls the channels. We think that one is under the sink.

Most people aren’t comfortable with the genetic modification of life, but He isn’t bothered by what most people think. / He works in mysterious ways.