A Referee Job Description, Written by the Coach Whose Team Lost the Youth Basketball Championship
This is a flexible position, in that you can decide when you are going to do any damn work even though you’re getting paid for it.
Tag: Children
I’m the Fun Mom on This Migraine Commercial and I’m Begging You, Please Kill Me
My headache thundered with every step, but we'd duel for hours with our tin-foil-covered balsa wood swords.
The Wake-Up Fairy is Tired of Your Bullshit
No one else in this house has to be a Morning Person other than the Wake-Up Fairy! Isn’t that great? And now it’s time to get ready for school.
Qualities I Require in a Lunch Box for My Child
Self-cleaning. Enchanted with spell that bewitches child into consuming lunch regardless of fiber content. Doubles as USCG-approved flotation device.
Let’s Discuss the Global Hunger Epidemic Over by Our Company’s Free Snack Drawer
Did you know that there's a hunger epidemic going on? And more importantly, did you know that the office switched to ordering from Fresh Direct?
I’m From New Jersey and Yes, Bruce Springsteen is My Biological Father
My parents knew they had early mornings in the factory, just working towards the American dream, but there was something special about that night.
I Am the Middle-Aged Jumper at the Trampoline Park Who’s Definitely Not Too Old for This
Oh-kaay. This hurts a little. The spring-bound polypropylene surface feels more solid upon impact than I expected.
How to Talk to Your Child About the Prophecy They Must Fulfill
Discovering that he was born into a secret society who are defending the Earth and influencing world events may be difficult for your son to process.
Can You Be Our Nanny?
Caring for children is one of life’s most rewarding jobs. Our nanny will need a sens…
Suggested Reading for Your Not-Woke-Enough 6-Year-Old
The Little Engine That Lost Its Medicare - After losing a spoke while transporting cargo, The Little Engine is no longer able to afford repairs.
Unfortunately, You Have Not Been Accepted to the United States of America
You also referenced a desire to give your children a better life than you were afforded. Unfortunately, the board felt this was a bit unoriginal.
House Hunters: Underground Bunker Edition
A bunker in a cute town with lots of shops and restaurants would be more than fine. Ideally, it would be a community with a high walkability score.