Welcome to the Great Hall of Science and Nature!
Ponder morbidly whether the great stuffed beasts of plains and forest were found dead or shot purely for taxidermic purposes.
Tag: Children
Things Your Teen Daughter Asks You at 11:17 PM, When You’re in Bed Watching “House Hunters”
Oh my god, I literally have nothing to put on my college applications. Why did you let me quit cross country?
Scavenger Hunt: New Kids on the Block Mixtape Tour with Very Special Guests Salt-N-Pepa, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and Naughty by Nature LIVE at Boston’s TD Garden Edition
Someone wearing acid wash jeans or an acid wash denim mini skirt and a Tufts sweatshirt --- 20 points, Those Reeboks with the Velcro --- 25 points
Steely Dan Lyrics or Things Burnt-Out First-Time Parents Say to Each Other?
We could stay inside and play games, I don’t know. I kinda like frying up my sad cuisine, gettin' in bed and curling up with a girlie magazine.
I Am an ICE Guard and I Sleep Very Well Through My Night Terrors, Thank You
Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.
New Monoculture Candidates
"Aja": Such an underrated Steely Dan album. “Deacon Blues” and “Peg” as back-to-back tracks? Come on.
Welcome to Camp Sunshine! Please Read Our 2019 Camp Policies
Camp Sunshine opens its doors at 8:55 every morning. Please drive carefully because although we have 125 campers, we only have 11 legal parking spots.
An Open Letter to the “Pay It Forward” Person at the Drive-Thru
Being a happy-go-lightly, vacant soul, you’re probably wondering why I didn’t use that fistful of dollars to pay for the order of the guy behind me.
Who Wrote It? Immanuel Kant or Gary Gygax?
Everyone talks about Kant and Gygax without bothering to read them and their writing styles are very similar.
Keanu Reeves and the Argument for Simulation Theory
It was now blindingly obvious that this convergence of Keanu was more than just happenstance.
Open Letter to the Other Dad at the PTA Meeting with a World’s Best Dad Coffee Mug
ROUND 2: We will re-enact Alice Cooper's “School's Out for Summer” video shot for shot. Contestants may borrow as many eye-liner pencils as they need.
Important Tips for Creating and Managing Your Dad’s Orgasm After Telling Him You Opened a Roth IRA
Give your dad the gift of a Roth IRA orgasm for Father's Day without having to label it incest.