My Wife and I Are Child-Free, Todd
That air of unbridled exhilaration and freedom you had? We always have that look, Todd. Because we never have to deal with your wretched offspring.
Tag: Children
Ways You Can Screw Up Your Son
Raising sons is hard. There are a lot of ways you can screw up your son and add another example of toxic masculinity to society.
I Starred as “Greg” in a Corporate Sexual Harassment Training Video and It Ruined My Life
For approximately 134,000 of my New Brunswick neighbors and others across the globe, I became the face of workplace sexual harassment.
New High School Senior Portrait Packages
I Love My Car Package: This package is specially designed for those whose 16th birthday was the greatest moment of their life.
Master Template for Every Championship Sports Interview Ever Given
"I set a goal [NUMBER OF YEARS THE TEAM HAS BEEN TERRIBLE] ago and I was determined to give it [CLICHÉ FROM MOTIVATIONAL KITTEN CALENDAR]."
Goodbye to “All That”: By Kenan Thompson in 2001
Someone once said that "All That" is for the very young and the same people when they’re 28 and nostalgic. For me, "All That" is a moment in time.
Optimize Your Originality by Copying Famous Creatives’ Daily Habits
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804): Awoken by spousal uppercut at 6:30, the philosopher began an impressive washing regimen; Kant felt his mind was sharpened by pouring pitchers of cold water over himself.
Mealtime Hacks That Guarantee Your Child Will Be a 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals Judge
If he really needs a birthday cake, make him an energy-boosting quinoa and oatmeal cake with sample questions from the LSAT written in marzipan.
Other Secret and Torrid Fictional Relationships You Might Have Forgotten
Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum: There never was a murder, these two just needed to get away from their bridge club to whisper sweet nothings.
The New Adopt-a-Writer Program
Frederik (42, Breed: Poet (Non-Rhyming)) Frederik thinks he’s better than all the other writers at the shelter.
Easy Steps to Getting Your Pre-Baby Body Back Before Leaving the Hospital
Yes, you have been up for twenty hours straight, but take this opportunity to focus on getting leaner and fitter.
Ponce de León: I Only Want to Find the Fountain of Youth to Enjoy the “Kids Eat Free on Wednesdays” Deal At My Favorite Restaurant
Conquistadors have an old saying: discovering a place makes you that place’s Mom/Dad. Why should Florida’s Dad have to pay $14 for his favorite meal?