The Kayak Pirate Known As Captain Manscaped Beard
Once the kayak is stolen, the Captain sells the 'yak to fund his groovy seaside summer adventures and to replenish his supply of slushy drinks.
Tag: Children
My Only Regret is That I Have But 96 Lives Per Day to Give For My Country by Wayne LaPierre
While a Nathan Hale could die but once, I, Wayne LaPierre, must oversee a daily sacrifice nearly five score that many Americans from gun violence.
Hollywood Launching Cinematic Universe About Fruit
Citrus: Blood Orange: An orange (Liam Neeson) will team up with soil (Leonardo DiCaprio) to unravel why other oranges in the grove are exploding.
Your Daily 20-Minute Workout to Prevent Demonic Possession
Can you feel that burn? Well, ignore it. That’s just one of the servants of Satan trying to enter your body through your navel.
A Few Thoughts About That Video You Recorded After My Root Canal
I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.
We’re Sorry We Didn’t Make the “Star Wars” Movie You Want
We were just trying to make a good movie that everyone could enjoy, and we never meant to hurt your feelings.
A Letter to Willy Wonka from Mrs. Bucket
My son only talks about candy lately, as though there is nothing more to running a business than coming up with colorful and dangerous food for kids.
Never in 145 Million Years Will I Regret Building a Family Fun Park Filled with Prehistoric Killing Machines
Off you go, all of you including my two precious grandchildren! I’ll be staying here in the visitor’s center, experiencing the wonder vicariously.
Studio Notes on First Draft of “Thai Cave Rescue: The Movie”
Could be difficult for a broader audience to empathize with protagonists who are all young, Thai boys. Angelina Jolie has just become available!
The Case for Watching “Three Men and a Baby” and “Baby’s Day Out” Back to Back
Baby vs. Single Men is the quintessential conflict of the time period, driving at the heart of America’s anxieties around wealth, gender, and cocaine.
NRA Talking Points For Kids
First, you come for my toy guns. What’s next? Marshmallow shooters, finger guns, fingers themselves?! After you already got my nose? Never again!
How to Survive Summer 2018
If you’re tempted to see parallels between "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" and your country, limit it to the fact that Chris Pratt exists in both.