Feedback on the “Wild’n’Wholesome” Meal Delivery Service
This week’s tarantula would have proven less challenging if we had found it straight away, rather than four hours later during Tina’s sleepover.
Tag: Children
You’re God! How Will You Punish Jim Carrey?
Somebody will watch in confusion as a frustrated Jim Carrey thrusts his torso to explain where the parking garage’s car elevator will go.
Honest Rules for Staying at Grandma’s House
Good manners are expected at all times. That means always saying “please,” “thank you,” and “our mother made a terrible mistake not baptizing us.”
New Economy Seating Options at United Airlines
Our Economy Basic passengers are seated in a section of the plane teeming with luxury-hungry wolves, starving for cherished Basic ticket-holders.
Realistic Customer Memories About Toys ‘R’ Us
"But look after I beat the display game, I found my kid and bought an entire shelf of Legos out of guilt. Okay?" ---Victor Andrade (Wichita, KS)
Yelp Reviews of Cemeteries from Actual Residents
The grass is sparse and mowed sporadically at best, and the soil tastes flat. The view is fine, but nearby freeway noise is deafening.
Inspector Dirty Harry Callahan Leads Your Girl Scout Troop’s Cookie Sale
Sell and then shake 'em down for dirt on their dealer. There's only room for one dirty cop and one dirty Girl Scout troop in this neighborhood.
An Open Letter to My Parents Who are Forcing Me to Be an Amateur Standup Comedian When I Just Want to Work in Human Resources
Even though I am pursuing a stable career in human resources, please remember that I will always be your emotionally underdeveloped and insecure son.
Addressing the Allegations That I Left the Sleepover Early Because I was Afraid of the Movie
Why, if I supposedly love my mom so much, did I tell everyone, "My mom is making me come home because I have a stomachache, I hate her so much"?
A Pitch for My TV Show “Finding Bigfoot and Also My Biological Parents If We Have Time”
The show aims to capture clear and undoctored footage of Bigfoot. Also, if we run into my biological parents along the way, that'd be pretty neat, too.
If Trump Won’t Protect Trans Kids, My Ninja Weapons and I Will
When the lives of countless transgender children are at stake, I've no choice but to raise aloft my twin sai and declare, "Fearmongers, beware!"
Four Miraculous Tales of Survival by Young Children in Peril
Relying solely on their wits and instincts, these brave kids overcame incredible odds to survive life-threatening situations.