How to Network (With Your Parents) in Hollywood
With famous parents, you have the advantage of not needing to beat around the bush and pretend to be considerate of their feelings; you can just ask them for a job!
With famous parents, you have the advantage of not needing to beat around the bush and pretend to be considerate of their feelings; you can just ask them for a job!
Dear Make-A-Wish Foundation, I've recently been given three weeks to live. Because I am 12 and have not yet experienced a bachelor party, here is my list of requests.
I thought I was good at dressing my body like a burlap sack of potatoes, but I have been outdone! Women are all just floating heads with robot arms.
It had the car... with the flag! Yes, THAT flag! What could my mother have been thinking when she gave in to my demands for it?
Rest assured, students do not learn teleportation until their fourth year. We had some minor issues with spontaneous combustion in the past, which is why we pushed it back.
I wonder if my indoor sunglasses and the giant jug of orange juice betray my hangover? The glare from Sister Beatrice indicates yes.
Does metabolism really have anything to do with taking off your shirt, screaming "I want to feel alive!" and diving face first into a 360-degree twisted tube slide?
In "Green Eggs and Radioactive Lambs" an isolated town's chickens have died and the few remaining eggs have turned green. Eat these pitiful creatures or starve?
I had long heard rumors of Ben's virtual atrocities, but I needed to see proof of them for myself. After all, he's 10, how bad could it be?
Welp, this is how it all ends. If there's some sort of service to remember me, please have them mention my karate belts.
Sit at the table, young man. You can't have your funding for the border wall until you finish this fiscal deal. Plus, I added some salt.
Hey Dad, I just want to reassure you: I'm not worried about the future. Not even the tiniest amount. Because I'm going to inherit billions of dollars.