What Your Favorite Children’s Book Characters Are Up To Now
When the Magic School Bus Program was canceled due to budget cuts, Ms. Frizzle took the opportunity to retire.
Tag: Children
The Real Reason Trump Won Was Because Betsy Miller Turned Me Down in the Sixth Grade, and Don’t Let Anybody Tell You Otherwise
I've cracked the case wide open. It all traces back to the 1998 Tropical Para-Dance at Windy Meadow Middle School.
Revocation of Parental Rights to Custody of Archival Images and History
Mom, Dad, this is your official notice that you are no longer in charge of my childhood photos and videos. Please turn them over immediately.
Kids These Days: Can We Go Back to Non-Murdery Anger and Revenge Techniques?
Kids need to learn that the old school tactics of not killing a person, but killing their will to live, is much safer and rewarding.
5 Weekend Woodworking Projects for a Medieval Father and Son
There's no better way to impress on a young boy the timeless lesson of impermanence than the gallows. Then move on to a ballista or siege tower!
Study Shows Toddler Misbehavior Designed to Prepare Parents for Zombie Apocalypse
A study of 200,000 toddlers, conducted by scientists at Barnard College over 15 years, has determined that toddlers misbehave to prep their parents for doomsday scenarios.
This Goddamn Computer is Going to Save Our Family
1946 is going to be a good year for us, my blessed family. Because with the last of our savings I've purchased us a state of the art home computer!
My Top 10 Childhood Girl Crushes from 90’s Kids Shows
Witchcraft was sketchy and intimidating to most preschoolers in the 90’s, but I wasn’t a little bitch so it was a huge turn-on to me. That's why Sabrina makes the list.
Advice for Every Age from 1 to 20 Years Old
<p>With my birthday less than a week away, and as the horrifying age of ** approaches like I would Kevin Bacon (barring the restraining order)... you know, slow at first as I don't want to startle him, but with increasing prowess and Kenny Loggins' "Footloose"<em> </em>playing in the background as I pounce... where was I going with this?
An Oral History of My DIY Children’s Party Venue
Lucas' DIY Children's Playhouse brought children with new ideas together to celebrate their birthdays in an "anything goes" environment, where do-it-yourself culture thrived.
I Accidentally Switched Bodies With My 9-Year-Old Son
There's no real easy way to go about this so I'll just come out and say it: I've switched bodies with my 9-year-old son and I don't know what to do about it.
My Introduction to YMCA Summer Camp and Adult Penises
These were the first adult penises I'd ever seen, and as an 8-year-old, it scared me enough to make me avoid changing in locker rooms for the rest of my life.