Answers to All of the Questions Asked by the Little Girl Sitting Behind Me at Last Night’s Performance of “The Marriage of Figaro”
OK—technically you didn’t ask this, but no, you’re not supposed to sing along.
OK—technically you didn’t ask this, but no, you’re not supposed to sing along.
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
Be prepared to answer questions like, “What about all of those blurry photos he left on my phone?”
Jesus was born on a virgin. A virgin is a kind of a airplane. There was a pilot there called Punch Us.
This Santa is cloned from DNA from the original St. Nicholas, and raised in captivity in our North Pole mock-up.
What’s the point of listening to obscure music if no one knows your doing it?
P.U., this clown stunk! Literally, he smelled like he crawled out of a sewer.
I knew blanketing a third-grade class’s first art exhibition with cans of pasta would be controversial, but that’s why I did it
We will cover all the fundamentals, from color and composition to bloodstain patterns and anatomy.
Setting up this stand in my backyard all those days ago, I never imagined the places we would go; we are now in the front yard.
A pretty solid memory of that "Boy Meets World" episode where Cory’s mom gives birth to his younger brother.
It might be a good idea to post messages after each kid is picked up so that we know that the bus has not disappeared into some space/time continuum.