Children | Page 8 | Points in Case

Tag: Children

Today’s Opposite Day was triggered by my friend’s child, Kalley, who expressed that I "had a nice haircut… on Opposite Day."

I really believed that a gang of scrappy, oddball teenage underdogs like us could pull this off against all odds.

WHAT WE’RE LOOKIN’ FOR… YOU: - Enjoy tippin’ over hot dog carts for craps n’ giggles - Like puttin’ pennies on train tracks and watching ‘em smoosh

- Formed during a hot summer night in a small Kansas town - The absolute worst and most dangerous place to experience one is inside a motor vehicle

After learning that Big Bird’s top four films on Letterboxd were American, Jeremy forced Big Bird to undergo something called “Bergman Boot Camp.”

Bath time shall last a minimum of three hours or until I’ve shriveled to one-half my natural size. ABSOLUTELY NO HAIR WASHING.

My fedora is almost always silent, but your kid starts screaming just because I flick him in both his eyes? Toughen up, Henry.

Pray especially for those of us who have screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO MEDITATE" at our children.

I didn’t go to Tisch so I could buy cocaine for a lemur. Plus, lemurs need three times as much snow to get going.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENT?: Now in their forties, our cast has come together to exchange scary stories about relationships and marital troubles.

I also can’t seem to remember anything after the second act, which my therapist says is my brain’s way of protecting itself.

Did Grandpa really like me the most out of all the grandchildren, and even more than some of his own kids?