Escape Rooms Inspired By My Mother-in-Law
Can you stop this off-key, off-off-off-Broadway show before the woman who says you aren’t good enough for her son plugs in her karaoke machine?
Tag: Christmas
The Lamentations of Your Forgotten Love, The Cigarette
We grew together. We have history. Does vape know that you used to slobber too much in your tween years?
My Latest Findings in Brain Research
8. The brain's ability to recognize faces is limited to John Lithgow --- Human faces: only computers can tell them apart.
When is the Best Time to Visit New York?
There are three distinct rivers in New York summers: the Hudson, the East, and the one continuously flowing down into your ass crack.
Things to Prepare Yourself for When You Graduate College
You’ll feel that you’ve won the war of slobs vs. snobs you started with the Dean. But then you’ll realize how happy Dean Trublioni makes your dad.
Breakfast Cereal Mascots I’ve Had Impure Thoughts About, Ranked by How Ashamed It Made Father McGillicuddy
Froot Loops’ Toucan Sam is about as dreamy as tropical birds get. Father McGillicuddy had a much harder time wrapping his brain around this one.
Ho Ho Ho, I’ve Updated Your Privacy Policy
But if Mr Zuckerberg thinks that now I will finally bring him that Tickle Me Elmo, he is wrong. He was a bad boy then and he's an even badder boy now.
Other New Policies Recently Approved By NFL Owners
Players who take, like, 20 napkins and then use, like, just two napkins and throw away the other 18 will be ejected from the game.
Astrology is Stupid (Unless I’m Being a Total Bitch, Then I’m Blaming My Gemini Moon)
“My moon is in Sagittarius, so I shut down emotionally to cope with stress! I told you that on Christmas after I punched that mall Santa!”
Customer Review: Product Blew Up Grandmother
I noticed that when my grandmother powered on her MXB39FLB7 it made a series of uncharacteristic clicking sounds prior to her detonation.
The 3 Social Media Posts You’ll See on Your Feed Right After the Holidays
Get ready for that not-so-candid "candid" photo by the Christmas tree of the bride-to-be looking up at her 2-inch-taller groom like he's on a ladder.
Elf on the Shelf Captain’s Log
The kids seem to want a chemistry kit, an iPhone, and a Kylie Jenner lip-gloss contraption. Santa will be furious with their capitalistic greed.