Reindeer Farts are Melting the North Pole (And Other Intimate Confessions from Santa)
150 years of the expectation of delivering gifts to billions of children every year has turned Santa into a dick. Here's what he confessed to me.
Tag: Christmas
The Atheist Club’s First Annual Christmas-Themed Christmas Party
Past Christmas parties by the house church had themes such as "Dinner" and "Watching Netflix," but this year the theme is... *drumroll* "Christmas"!
Do They Know It’s Christmas on the Moon?
Everyone knows this song helped eradicate hunger in Africa, which is why there are no hungry people there now, but did you know it also cures Ebola... and intelligence?!
How Christmas Provoked My Dad’s First F Word in Front of Us
My dad cashed his F word chip in around my brothers and me with a salty, heartfelt "MOTHER FUCKER." All because he didn't know how to use a handsaw.
The Joy of Santa Casey
"I know it is Christmas Eve, but you would be going to kindergarten dressed as Santa Claus," my boss Sunny said. I accepted in an instant, and never regretted it.
Santa Baby, I’m a Materialistic Whore
What we've got here is Madonna, singing in a little girl voice to what could only be construed as her dad, dressed up as Santa. Or in other words, "GROSS, DUDE."
Staying at Home with Kevin: A Korean Christmas Tradition
Have a very merry Home Alone Christmas in Korea.
The Illicit Meaning Behind the Lyrics to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
It's time to overanalyze another Christmas song that you'll NEVER EVER be able to hear again without your mind going to a very dark place.
The Two Thousand Twelve Days of Christmas
A much-needed revision to the outdated gifts from the Christmas classic. Hell, even a song about gifts in 2005 would be long obsolete given our demand for the latest in supply.
Things We Won’t Get for Christmas 2011
Even as kids we knew Santa couldn't get us everything we wanted. So today, 28 PIC writers gather to unleash their personal "shit they know they're not going to get" lists.
Christmas with the Kardashians (Black Tar Prophecies, Vol. 2)
My name is Copernicus Thunderbird, and we're all fucked if Christmas goes down the way I think it will. What you need to understand is that the Kardashians are going to destroy Earth.
The Twisted Christmas Miracle in the Woods
As I stood in the woods digging the hole to bury the old man, I realized he wasn't quite dead. And that's when he told me a story of Christmas I'll never forget.