The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.
Tag: Classes
A Principal’s Tough Conversation with His Coolest Student
"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."
What Elementary School Was Like in Each Decade
The 1960s: Students are now allowed to bring lunches with them to school.
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, Will You Give My “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” Spec a Read?
You’re talking to the guy who read a few passages from Aristotle’s “Poetics,” but also read the Wikipedia summary several times.
Mrs. Malone’s 4th Grade Math Quiz
Tamber excavates 1 skeleton. He recognizes its bone structure. 81-inch. Could it be? D.B. Cooper? How many inches taller than Tamber is D.B. Cooper?
I’m the King-Shit of Comedy and I’m Going to Absolutely Ruin This Substitute Teacher
Listen up, shitsticks: all you open-mic wannabes better take notes from the best comedian Channelside Elementary School has to offer.
Stages of Grief About The Election in Aerobics Classes
Let’s put on some hip-hop and do leg lifts like it’s 2002! Feel the burn. Not #feelthebern. Because really, are the Bernie Bros happy now?
Attention Parker Valley Middle School: I’m Gonna Be a Skater Now
It is with heavy heart that I, Robby Schwartz, wish to announce that I am no longer a punk rocker. I am now a skater; please accept my decision.
10 Things You’ll Never Hear on a College Campus
Just because you never hear these things in college doesn't mean they aren't true. Especially the parts about cheating, masturbation, and taking advantage of helpless animals.
I’m Your Tough, No-Nonsense Summer School Teacher and I Really Need Someone to Help Me Perform a Magic Trick This Weekend
All I want to hear is your name, grade, and on a scale of 1-10 how comfortable you would be lying down in a pit of 200-300 baby rattlesnakes for two minutes.
Trump University Announces Six New Courses for 2017
In "PS 102 - The New Racism" we'll show you how to dismiss any challenge to your racist views—no matter how valid—as liberal "political correctness" run amok.
Teacher of the Year: Mr. Richard Head
When the barrier between student life and adulthood is pulled down, we hope that each of our graduates will stand out as a bulging success.