Unique Airbnb: Hill House Mansion Near Amherst
Explore and investigate the strange scraping sounds, trap doors in the floor, and that creepy voice that keeps whispering your name late at night.
Tag: Clothes
God Checks In on the Plan for You, A Person Who Is Not Drake
You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.
The Things You Notice On Your First Run in a While
You notice a phalanx of tiny Greek soldiers inside your body and they're stabbing you in the lungs with their historically accurate iron spears.
Movies Reviewed By Me, a Teen in the Early 2000s, Based on What I Saw Before I Started Making Out
"Gone in 60 Seconds": I watched until they stole their first car, which was, fittingly, 60 seconds. I got the gist. Commence make-out.
Woke Gear for the Politically Correct
New at Macy’s are Cordial-Roy® casual slacks---virtue you can wear. Looking good while avoiding social indiscretion never looked, well, so good!
Becca’s Baking Blog: This Banana Bread Will Fuck Your Shit Up
And before you ask, you disgusting skid mark, yes, we’re sifting our dry ingredients before combining. We weren’t raised by fucking mole people.
Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love To You” Annotated For All The Sexual Harassers Singing It At Karaoke
Pour the wine, light the fire/Girl your wish is my command* *Theirs is an equal exchange of pleasure, because it's about consent!
In Conclusion: Aliens Not Only Built The Pyramids, But They Also Committed That Murder I’ve Been Accused Of
And sure, the judge may say this is all “outside the scope of the trial”---but who are you gonna listen to? Me, or this fuckin' alien judge?
Hey, Remember Me? I’m Socks
Sometimes, when you brew coffee I get flashbacks of how you’d sit with your feet inside me as you discussed search engine optimization.
How to Avoid Bursting Into Flames Without Air Conditioning
Create clothing from frozen vegetables. People always want to wear as little clothing as possible during the summertime. That's a big mistake.
Tips for Owning a Birdhouse
Do not launder money through your birdhouse. It is a crime punishable by penalty of not getting to have a birdhouse anymore.
The Case for Watching “Three Men and a Baby” and “Baby’s Day Out” Back to Back
Baby vs. Single Men is the quintessential conflict of the time period, driving at the heart of America’s anxieties around wealth, gender, and cocaine.