New Economy Seating Options at United Airlines
Our Economy Basic passengers are seated in a section of the plane teeming with luxury-hungry wolves, starving for cherished Basic ticket-holders.
Tag: Clothes
Your Boyfriend Wandered Off in Target! Find Him Before It Closes
20 registers, all manned by 20 identical managers. They turn all at once and, eyes glowing yellow, sing “Derrick’s not here! Derrick’s not here!”
Introducing Old Navy Body Armor!
When you’re wearing this tweed, you’ll (hopefully) never have to bleed! These battle blazers are made of our strongest tungsten chainmail.
Five Power Ties to Match Your Ruthless Expression As You Testify Against Your Best Friend
As you point at Michael, his eyes won't stray from yours, but everyone on that jury will take note of the way you're dressed.
Four Miraculous Tales of Survival by Young Children in Peril
Relying solely on their wits and instincts, these brave kids overcame incredible odds to survive life-threatening situations.
My Bhutanese Drama Students Want to Recreate “Son of the Mask” and I Have No Idea What to Do
How can I adapt "Son of the Mask" into a 10-minute play with a bunch of Bhutanese 13-year-olds who speak limited English?
An Ode to the Five Pairs of Shoes Who’ve Been With Me Through Everything
I applaud you, as you were comfortable, people complimented you, and you made me appear like I had my shit together, which I did not.
I’ve Lived With a Gay Man for Three Months and He Still Won’t Go Shopping With Me
Adam was friendly, smart, and best of all, my first gay roommate. I couldn't wait to paint our nails, make out drunk, and go shopping together.
The Delicate Parental Art of Preventing and Putting Out Fires
My parents' top priority wasn't a clean room or fresh air, but fire safety. This is why I had a 15-foot fire ladder in my second-floor bedroom.
Five Sweaters That Say, “I’m Open to the Idea of Talking About Maybe Doing Anal”
Specific sweater styles that tell him you're open to the idea of talking about maybe taking it up the butt, maybe. But probably.
I am the Backwards Fitted Cap, And I Want Closure
I sit in your closet collecting dust, regretting that my only purpose was to fit your head and no one else's. What ever happened to loyalty?
The 6 Coziest Federal Offenses to Commit From the Warmth of Your Home This Winter
Finally, a list of felonies to perpetrate from your breakfast nook while wearing your snuggliest onesie. Let it snow, let it snow!