Miss Tabitha’s Phone Sex and Nuclear Apocalypse Preparation Hotline
I'm wearing a transparent red teddy while I fondle myself to thoughts of your survival preparations. That’s because I'm outside of the fallout zone.
Tag: Clothes
5 Halloween Costumes That Say “I’m Fun, and Not Gonna Accidentally Start a Fire This Year”
This year you need to wear a costume that shows off your fun-loving personality while also assuring everyone you won't accidentally set an antique table on fire again.
Why I Love “The Handmaid’s Tale”: A Review by Michelle Duggar
I thought I was good at dressing my body like a burlap sack of potatoes, but I have been outdone! Women are all just floating heads with robot arms.
The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants: An Update
The heart wants long johns from Saks. The heart can't get long johns from Saks unless it can get into the subway, but it used all it's coins.
8 of the Hottest Non-Religious Burkinis
The comfortably structured contour-caressing nap of the Twerkini cover-up transforms motion into electrical energy, helping to charge cell phones.
How to Troubleshoot a Sump Pump, Sponsored by Marque de Mode Luxury Handbags
Flooded basement? Fashion purveyors Marque de Mode have you covered with some simple tips to get your basement dryer than a martini at Café Montague.
4 Fall Looks That Say “I’m Sweating, Because It’s Still Summer”
Fall officially starts on September 21st, but why should that stop you from breaking out all your cute fall clothing? Oh yeah, you're burning up.
I Bought an Energy-Efficient Laundry Machine Because It Has a See-Through Lid
I used to worry about the world, about a lot of things, but now that I have a washing machine with a see-through lid, everything seems just fine.
I Draw Him Naked First, To Preserve His Purity (By Dilbert Creator Scott Adams)
Before my pen even outlines his dirty, filthy Dilbert clothing, I draw the Dilbert naked first. To preserve his essence. To preserve his purity.
5 INCREDIBLE Fashion Tips From Your Dad
You gotta have two belts: a formal one for funerals and weddings, and an everyday belt, no fewer than five years old, and TOTALLY SHOWING ITS AGE.
How to Be an Adult in Tight Jeans
My Gap skinny jeans might make me look young, but my rapidly aging prostate constantly reminds me that I’m not.
5 Indie Rock Breakouts You’ll Never Hear in 2017
Led by charismatic, one-armed Gethin Bedwyr, OctoFanggz combine swirling psychedelia with a somewhat severe German burlesque, sung entirely in Portuguese.