I Bought an Energy-Efficient Laundry Machine Because It Has a See-Through Lid
I used to worry about the world, about a lot of things, but now that I have a washing machine with a see-through lid, everything seems just fine.
Tag: Clothes
I Draw Him Naked First, To Preserve His Purity (By Dilbert Creator Scott Adams)
Before my pen even outlines his dirty, filthy Dilbert clothing, I draw the Dilbert naked first. To preserve his essence. To preserve his purity.
5 INCREDIBLE Fashion Tips From Your Dad
You gotta have two belts: a formal one for funerals and weddings, and an everyday belt, no fewer than five years old, and TOTALLY SHOWING ITS AGE.
How to Be an Adult in Tight Jeans
My Gap skinny jeans might make me look young, but my rapidly aging prostate constantly reminds me that I’m not.
5 Indie Rock Breakouts You’ll Never Hear in 2017
Led by charismatic, one-armed Gethin Bedwyr, OctoFanggz combine swirling psychedelia with a somewhat severe German burlesque, sung entirely in Portuguese.
It Would Be Wrong to Make a Jacket Out of Rob Lowe’s Skin
I understand the difference between right and wrong. And if somebody captured Rob Lowe, murdered him and made a jacket out of his skin it would be wrong.
Transition of “Chad’s Bikini Bar and Grill” to “Chad’s Family Bar and Grill”
After 30 great years, we’ve decided to scale back our breastaurant theme and make the transition to one of a more family-friendly restaurant.
When Our Lord Returns, Here’s How to Recognize Him
Everyone thinks that our Lord wore tattered rags and robes and ancient-day-Crocs because he liked them, but that's actually just what was fashionable back then.
The Incredibly Intimate Hulk: Confessions of an Aging Superhero
I have a confession to make: I'm the man behind the Incredible Hulk. But I've gotten older and my angry shenanigans have become tiresome over the years.
Cause Bracelets are Out of Control: Here’s How to Fix Them
There are now 18 different colored bracelets that represent 139 different problems. Even Jay-Z can't rap about that much confusion.
Not Only is My Jacket Cooler Than Yours, Your Jacket is Absolutely Awful
I haven't been paying that much attention to you - but what I can say with complete certainty is that your jacket is not as cool as mine.
A Transcript from the New York Times Interview with President-Elect Trump About a Photograph of a Shoe
Join The New York Times and President-elect Trump to find out once and for all if this is a photograph of a shoe.