25% Mommy, 25% Daddy, 25% Mommy’s Yoga Coach, 15% Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Tinder Guy Who Was Into Daddy and Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Lube, 100% PERFECT ME!
You have a toddler; we have a dwindling supply of troops for a little ongoing altercation with neighboring trolls. Let’s help each other!
And my 2007 Autumn/Winter collection: drab brown and caution-tape yellow. Such a foul combination that no one had ever thought to use it before!
My Princeton hoodie, whose drawstrings are connected to my arms, so if you pull them you can turn me into your personal puppet.
Easy, effortless transitional pieces for looking like a regular person who may or may not have health insurance.
Did you reach for a pair of jeans, but a security guard asserted, "Please don’t touch the art"? You can't afford it.
Leather Jacket – Doesn’t believe in monogamy but has lived with one boyfriend for six years; sleeps with phone on the bed, it has its own pillow.
We speak here of the dowdy. The cotton-poly blend. The bland pastel floral with faux-pearl snaps. Armor worn by everyone from Nanas to Meemaws.
And before you get skeptical or overthink our business model, this is NOT slave labor repackaged as a benevolent good.
For unmentionables, you sure talk about us a lot. You’ve got boobs on the brain, and that’s why we’re not worried. We know you’ll come back.
I definitely don’t lay in bed motionless, hovering between sleep and wakefulness, until finally my hungry cat comes and scream-meows in my face.
The red-berry notes that also resemble a boiled mushroom in your choice Pinot are a perfect match for any outfit from this inclusive Tarjay brand.