[Title Blocked Until You Pledge To My Patreon]
Yes, I sold ad space at the end of that paragraph. Yes, I know that the end of the first paragraph is traditionally where the humorous premise goes.
Tag: Coffee
Christopher Columbus Discovered Heaven
The only problem with Heaven is that it doesn’t last long, depending on how strong your beans are, and so the key is to keep drinking more of it.
My Car is Dead But My Soul is Alive
God, I haven't ridden a bike for years. Okay, that still works. Yes, I have thighs. Thick thighs. Strong thighs. Thunder God thighs.
So You Want to Sell Your Screenplay?
4. To fund this web series and convince your friends that this project is worth creating, adapt the web series into a musical for the stage.
An Open Letter to the Guy Next to Me Writing an Open Letter to the Smug Barista Who Threw Shade at Me
Yes, honored Seat Neighbor, you have described the whelp's arrogance in a manner both just and poetic. Yes, poetic!
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, Will You Give My “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” Spec a Read?
You’re talking to the guy who read a few passages from Aristotle’s “Poetics,” but also read the Wikipedia summary several times.
How I Failed at Being a Gilmore Girl
Thanks to my newly acquired need for a speed supplier, I finally found my bad-boy boyfriend. He also cooked meth on the side and almost blew me up once or twice while I was asleep.
My First Day at the Department for Duplicated Departments
10.15 am - Somone tries to get into the office but gets lost in the revolving doors.
Superheroes in the Millennial Legion
As Acai City’s newest hero, Millennial Girl is committed to protecting and serving all citizens born between 1981 and 1998.
5 Slightly Different Ways I Take My Coffee
A light dusting of cinnamon: This makes the coffee kind of taste like cinnamon, but just a little bit.
A Eulogy for Straw
Wooden coffee stirrer, remember when Straw convinced you that the barista went through 45 toothpicks a day? The look on your face! God, he was fun.
Michael Chabon Makes a Root Beer Float
With the precision of a casino dealer cutting a deck of cards, I scooped two large scoops of vanilla ice cream and put them into the frosty mug.