The Official NRA Guide to Cyberbullying Teenagers
The only thing that stops a bad kid with a dream is a good fully grown adult with a Twitter account. Please heed these social media tips.
Tag: College
Field Notes from the Archaeological Dig of Your Boyfriend Jake’s Instagram
I speculate that these images date back to the early 2010s, based on the woman’s dramatic side bangs and orange tribal body painting.
It Took Me a While, But I Finally Got Around to Reading the First Six Pages of “Infinite Jest”
Who gets to determine when a novel starts and ends in this postmodern age that you would understand if you had read the first six pages too.
Why Buy a New Car When You Can Still Cruise in Your High School Clunker?
Now I know smart car person phrases like, “you can tell the water pump is going out when you press the radio button and water squirts out.”
Dave From Admissions and Juliet: A Tale of Unrequited Love
To: Juliet Miller <[email protected]> Subject: Your Last Chance to Get Up On This
7 MORE Things Your Guidance Counselor Isn’t Going to Tell You in High School
Your high school guidance counselor forgot to tell you that you are not special. Actually, you ARE special, but in all the wrong ways.
Your Writer’s Block Needs You to Cut the Crap
The Next Great American Novel won’t be written by a 27-year-old with clear braces and a Deathly Hallows tattoo.
What the Commercials During “Days of Our Lives” Say About You, the Pathetic Daytime Viewer
The three most frequent commercials running during Days of Our Lives, and their insulting implications for you, the lazy sack of shit on the sofa.
EPIC FAIL! This Nobel Laureate Doesn’t Know How to Operate an Industrial-Grade Thresher
OMG! This award-winning humanitarian and advocate for oppressed peoples doesn't know how to operate decades-old agricultural equipment.
Pursue an Accelerated Ninja/Rock Star Dual Degree at Franklin Morse College
Our select, highly motivated students enjoy small class sizes, and hands-on instruction from fearsome masked assassins and famous rock bands.
4 Glowing Reviews of My Grad School Basement Apartment
There's nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a tiny, dingy $800-a-month basement apartment to remind you that your dreams are a sham.
4 Ways to Make Childhood Friend Reunions More Bearable
Why is it that hanging out with your childhood best friend now feels like small-talking with the lady at the supermarket who complains about her allergies?