College | Page 4 | Points in Case

Tag: College

For starters, many of you have been attending parties. We told you not to do that! We thought you’d listen to us.

Food Service: Breakfast is served from 6:12 AM to 6:18 AM. You’ll have a choice of bran flakes or bran toast.

My music isn't something you stomach for the sake of increased brain function. Save that for the cod liver oil.

“Is there a doctor on the plane? Specifically, someone with a PhD in Mathematics with a focus on algebraic geometry?”

My Princeton hoodie, whose drawstrings are connected to my arms, so if you pull them you can turn me into your personal puppet.

K. often wondered if he had become trapped in a time loop, like that movie Palm Springs. “My thesis is 467 pages long. What else is there to do?”

What did you say, maggot? You’ve got “a fever”? Dude, go get that checked out right now. Brother Cody, open the window.

Well, would you look at that. Normally everyone condescends to us and makes fun of online college, but now I guess we’re all in the same boat.

You too would like to manage the front desk of a dilapidated alcohol peddler who mostly sells Malibu rum to teenagers with fake IDs.

Deep, deep down, I do miss cleaning the bathroom after my son eats Chipotle’s Super Burrito with extra queso.

The college group chat will be remembered for its many colorful names, conferred by different members of the chat across its 11 years of existence.