Let Me Tell You About My Very Profitable, Benevolent Brand
And before you get skeptical or overthink our business model, this is NOT slave labor repackaged as a benevolent good.
Tag: College
If I Can’t Backpack Through Europe, How Am I Supposed to Discover Myself?
How am I supposed to get people to think I’m cultured and experienced if I don’t have the selfies with European landmarks to prove it?
I Hope This Email Finds You
My boss trusted me enough to get coffee and sometimes even pick up an occasional muffin. In addition, I became well-versed in Excel.
My Only Job Option Is to Play Professional Baseball
There's no better job out of college than playing in the MLB. Great pay, fame, and most of the time you’re standing around and not doing anything.
Get Someone Out of Your Life By Sending Them Your Screenplay
Persistent Car Salesman: Hi, Jared, it’s me, Buddy (at least that’s the name you call me by). Well… I’ve written a screenplay!
Introduction to Disguising a Fart in Public
Redirect the Attention. Infiltrate the Distraction. And Proceed as if Nothing Has Happened. Together, they form a useful pneumonic: RIP.
Rules of “Post-Grad Life: The Board Game”
-You failed an interview. Move back a square -You found an unpaid internship. Move forward 3 squares -But you did not get hired. Move back 3 squares
Introduction to Leading a Group of Strangers Through an Icebreaker Exercise
That mix of fear and resentment swirling in your gut? That’s how every icebreaker exercise should feel. You want your group to absolutely hate it.
It’s National Signing Day for Geeks
Buck: Wow, Jim. I especially liked the raw footage of Chip kicking butt in the chess club, and that slo-mo of him acing the AP calc exam.
Dear Faculty, Seeking Volunteers for Tribute
Should you fall ill, the university has shored up our reserve of adjuncts. They will easily be able to take on your classes in an emergency.
My Upcoming Commencement Address, Revised Edition
You have duly earned those A̶’̶s̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶A̶c̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶s̶h̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ P’s, which stand for Probably Above Par.
Recently Written Senior Theses Informed by the Pandemic
Dancing Alone, Procrastinating Together: A Sociological Interrogation of TikTok, or Why I Didn’t Finish My Major Requirements