The Restaurant Website That Makes It Impossible to Find Its Menu
Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.
Tag: Confusion
Everything I Missed Out On While My Glasses Were Fogged Up
The “Seat Yourself” sign in a totally empty restaurant, so I stood awkwardly at the host stand for 15 minutes.
Deciding Which of My 11,546 Photos to Delete
A Picture of the Loaf of Bread I Made Six Years Ago: My source of pride.
Do I Know You From Somewhere?
Did we go to college together? No, I went to Penn State. High school? No, I’m from New York. Middle School? No, I never graduated.
I’ve Got Good News and Bad News
The good news is I’m lying. It’s just good news. The bad news is I’m a compulsive liar so it’s all mostly bad news, unfortunately.
I’m Telling You This Is Not a Speakeasy, It’s a Laundromat
I understand that this neighborhood has changed in recent years, and to some, my frontage looks “ironically shambolic” or “intentionally distressed.”
Letter to My Wife After She Casually Told Me She Knew Someone Who Was Eaten by a Lion Ten Years into Our Relationship
I would think this would be first-three-date territory, even. Instead, you decided to mention it a decade into our relationship.
Writers: Are You a Plotter, a Pantser, or Are You Plotting Revenge on the Kid Who Pantsed You in High School Gym Class?
Some write to live out a fantasy that they were never granted: revenge on Frankie Wick, who pantsed them in Ms. Dakota’s class in the 9th grade.
I Bring a Warning from the Future and My Lack of Pants Should Be Irrelevant
Oh. You're hung up on the "no pants" thing. Uh, look, time travel is an imprecise science.
A Letter to My Past Self, Currently Caught in a Time Travel Paradox
The person who left the initial voicemail saying, “Come to the lab immediately?” That’s Dave 7.
If You Wish to Print a Document, You Must Pass These Six Trials
You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.
“I Know, Right?” Translated
"I agree": How humiliating to spill coffee on your crotch. I know, right? I’m going to pretend I don’t see it.