I’m Sorry, I Won’t Make a Cake for Your Gay Wedding, Because This is an OshKosh B’Gosh
All I can offer you is 60% off all denim-wear. So yous can getcha some toddler overalls or some jeans for any little tikes yous two may know of.
Tag: Confusion
How to Break It to Your Friend That There is a Skeleton Inside of Him
When he starts pounding on the walls because he is scared and wants to run from the skeleton who you just said was inside him, you must act quickly.
Is This Blockchain?
Is blockchain when you’re constipated because you ate too many quarters? Is blockchain a European architectural trend?
Boy Scout Cookies
Dad Bod Mints: Like the popular “Thin Mints,” but thicker, and with a little bit of hair.
I’m Really Not as Healthy as I Look
I read that there’s a path to your brain behind your eye, which may or may not be true, and I may or may not have read it, but no one can deny eyes are important.
Emo Song Titles or Actual Things I’ve Heard at Brunch?
20. I Liked You Better Before You Were Naked on the Internet. 21. Sleepless in Seattle is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be, Honey
The Trolley Problem, Interpreted by Notable Film Directors
Peter Jackson: The trolley problem is needlessly split into three separate trolley problems.
How to Sell Your Smoky Beanie Baby Collection, According to My Aunt Connie, A Non-Smoker
Go back to Wawa to demand they stop selling cigarettes to your Beanie Babies after you catch Splash the Killer Whale with a carton of Pall Malls.
Alternatives to “No Tip” on Touchscreen Checkout Machines
"I’m fiscally conservative in Q1" or maybe just a simple ":(" ?
I Love Wearing My Backpack During Busy Commutes
What if I told you that I’ve got four laptop computers on my person at this very moment? Because that’s the reality of the situation.
It Took Me a While, But I Finally Got Around to Reading the First Six Pages of “Infinite Jest”
Who gets to determine when a novel starts and ends in this postmodern age that you would understand if you had read the first six pages too.
You’re God! How Will You Punish Jim Carrey?
Somebody will watch in confusion as a frustrated Jim Carrey thrusts his torso to explain where the parking garage’s car elevator will go.