My Halloween Costume Is Just Regular Clothes, but I Expect You to Guess What I Am
Fine, I’ll give you a hint: It’s a fictional human character from film, TV, video games, literature, or social media of the past 100 years.
Tag: Costumes
This Year’s Candy Will Be Earned Through Trust-Building Exercises
Imagine my horror as I watched Mario and Luigi stuff their pockets without a moment’s thought for their fellow trick-or-treater.
Post-Halloween Report: My Gabba Ghoul Costume Was a Flop
"This is gonna be huge," I whispered to myself, flattening the various cold cuts dangling from my body.
This Halloween, My Son, You Will Dominate the Streets
It’s a zero-sum game out there. Every piece of candy you don’t get goes into the gaping, cavity-filled maw of some other kid.
I’m Not Looking Forward to Halloween Because It’s Spooky, I’m Just Looking Forward to Not Sweating
I'm looking forward to when boob sweat makes its annual migration toward those hapless people in the southern hemisphere.
I Regret to Inform You That There Will Be a Virtual Office Holiday Party This Year
The theme of the event is “Don’t Stop Believin’” and the entire three-hour ordeal will include many references to the 1981 Journey song.
Listen Scumbag, We Can Do This the Easy Way or the Hard Way or the Real Silly Way
I have a team of techs going over every inch of your apartment. I also know we could find so many hilarious props around here.
How to Parallel Park a Limousine in a Security Laser Maze
An excerpt from Section 38.28.1 of the Limo Driver's Handbook about how to deal with a bachelorette that turns into a jewel heist.
I Am Leaving My Job to Become a Cowboy Following the Success of My Halloween Costume
If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.
8 Erudite, Erotic Activity Ideas for Sapiosexuals
Many couples incorporate costumes into their love lives, but pointing out an outfit’s inaccuracies provides true stimulation.
I’m the Fun Mom on This Migraine Commercial and I’m Begging You, Please Kill Me
My headache thundered with every step, but we'd duel for hours with our tin-foil-covered balsa wood swords.
A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist
10:00 AM --- Drink a latte and brainstorm ways to mix up this week’s photoshoots. Order some motor oil in bulk, in case hair gel “isn’t weird enough.”