Things Said at a Backyard BBQ or Scotland Yard Murder Investigation?
The environment takes its toll. The long hours on your feet, the questions about where things are, all the ingredients involved in such a job...
Tag: Crime
This Is a Robbery, and Also My Birthday Party
Empty your pockets. Phones out, now! And you know what? While you’re doing that, why don’t you all sing Happy Birthday?
Your Honor, Have You Heard of the Mandela Effect?
You can’t convict me for something a parallel universe version of myself did.
This Street Gang Is Committed to Transparency
Q: Do members have to kill to show how committed they are? A: Our initiation ritual is to show everyone in the gang your Internet search history.
Russian Hackers Also Condemn the U.S. Government’s Weak Response to Their Recent Cyber Attack
Nobody likes working a job where their accomplishments go unrecognized or unnoticed, covert Russian hackers included.
Decorating on a Budget? Here Are Some DIY Home Essentials to Loot from a Closed Construction Site
Cement Mixer Swivel Chair - Once your guests sink into the metal drum, they won’t want (or be able) to get up!
Iconic Rom-Com Scene or Real Life Stalker?
After she breaks up with him, appears outside her window in a trench coat. With a boombox blaring the iconic song she lost her virginity to.
Chilling Tales from Your Late 20s
You come into possession of 12-25 sample eye creams. Every few weeks you get another one. How do they get there? What do they do? No one knows.
I Love Unwinding After a Long, Stressful Day by Watching a Documentary About a Man Who Murdered His Wife and Children
I love to kick back and escape my many problems by throwing on some real archival footage of a man who horrifically murdered his entire family.
Sherlock Homes and the Mystery of the Missing Romance
My girlfriend first noticed the absence of romance while I was in a stained dressing gown, digging wax from my ears while reminiscing about my ex.
Nowhere Am I Safe from Assumptions
When I go to work people assume, just because I drive an ice cream truck, that I must really love ice cream, or that I sell ice cream.
We, the Deep State, Concede That All Your Conspiracy Theories Are True
In 1960 at our Annual Goat Blood-A-Palooza & Family Fun Day, we saw a vision of you, the chosen one. We’ve been trying to sabotage you ever since.