Dating | Page 13 | Points in Case

Tag: Dating

I applaud you, as you were comfortable, people complimented you, and you made me appear like I had my shit together, which I did not.

"Pam I think Mark is at this party??" I typed as I moved in on his doppelganger. "Does he still wear the shirt I bought him 4 christmas?????"

With the smell of Elmer's glue and viscosity of frozen molasses, Ghost Lube by Karl Lagerfeld is a must-have at a mere $4,500 per bottle.

There's only two types of surfers: braindead fuckheads, and guys who have checking accounts. Now, split up accordingly everyone.

Now you know, you can't just sweep your problems under the rug and hope I don't build them up into metaphors for my failures as a parent.

Adam was friendly, smart, and best of all, my first gay roommate. I couldn't wait to paint our nails, make out drunk, and go shopping together.

Your high school guidance counselor forgot to tell you that you are not special. Actually, you ARE special, but in all the wrong ways.

It should have been easy—they're basically small, furry cows devoid of complex needs or even souls. What I could not foresee was rebellion.

All I ever wanted was to be the fourth son of Mike Brady on that killer 1970's TV show, The Brady Bunch. Instead, my life veered off course.

Waking up handcuffed to a deck chair and duck taped to the point of suffocation was exactly what my girlfriend and I needed to stop fighting.

Specific sweater styles that tell him you're open to the idea of talking about maybe taking it up the butt, maybe. But probably.

Have you ever lusted after Bernie Sanders' egalitarian utopia but then felt you were cheating on that copy of Reagan's "City Upon a Hill" speech?