2018 Spinoffs of The Bachelor
The Sasquatchelor: Losers from previous seasons of The Bachelor are stranded in the wilds of Oregon and tasked with finding love, as well as Bigfoot.
Tag: Dating
5 Signs Your Subpar Boyfriend is a Total Keeper
Dealbreakers are for spinsters and women who don't shave their armpits. Take what you can get now or die alone.
How to Be a Man in the Modern Age
Today's definition of masculinity has been warped. We men need to to get in touch with our manhood, and you better be prepared to cry and then go stone cold about it.
The First Self-Driving Car for Women: An Operating Manual
Go ahead and smile, because that's how you operate the remote keyless entry. No one wants to see resting bitch face. There it is. There's our pretty lady. Step inside.
Now That My Girlfriend Left Me, I’m Fattening Up to Be Eaten by a Witch
I can't help but wonder, are the things that made me an unappealing romantic companion to Gretchen the same things that make me an unappetizing meal to witches?
Ladies, Don’t You Wish Your Man Was Cleaner, More Passionate, and Less Racist?
I'm a woman who knows what she wants, and an unkempt sexual novice dedicated to preserving the genetic purity of the white race is so not one of them.
We Made Cat Tinder Because There Were No Better Options
Why spend the night with a random internet hookup who describes you as a "sex kitten" when you can hold a real kitten?
The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants: An Update
The heart wants long johns from Saks. The heart can't get long johns from Saks unless it can get into the subway, but it used all it's coins.
Women, Here’s What Your Dating Profile Should Really Look Like
More friendly advice for those women thinking about online dating...because my advice for men the first time around wasn't enough.
How Silent Films Taught Me to Be a Better Lover
My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?
Quiz: Have You Met the Girl of Your Dreams on Tinder, or HPV’s Patient Zero?
Mere moments after meeting her, she begins choking violently. A quick Heimlich produces an unsettling amount of used condoms. YES / NO
A Not-So-Routine Checkup with the Doctor in My Fever Dream
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.