I Should Probably Go Ahead and Buy Two Tickets For This Show
And the virtual gates are open! No way I am missing out on these tickets. Even if they sell out in minutes, I think I have my preparation down to a matter of seconds.
Tag: Dating
“Meet Cute” Moments Ruined By Ghosts
Boy meets girl and it's love at first sight. They both go to grab the same latte, but they can't because their barista has been DEAD FOR THE PAST SIXTEEN YEARS.
Not Born on Third Base, But Reached on a Fielder’s Choice
Some people were born on third base and thought they hit a triple. Other people, who thought they hit a triple, were born on first base. Consider how you got here in life.
“Do You Have Condoms?”
Did I hear her correctly? There's no way she just asked me if I have condoms on a first Tinder date, right? Could it possibly be going this well?
6 Venmo Requests to Send a Guy After a First Date
Amount: $40 Message: "Marketing fees associated with me blogging about this date." Rationale: He’s a weirdo, and weirdos need to be blogged about.
Guys, Here’s What Your Dating Profile Should Really Look Like
A brutally honest portrait of the man you may or may not actually want to date. Warning: includes thoughts on masturbation.
You’re My Boyfriend Now, It’s Squatters Rights
Hey Ted, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we are legally in a relationship now, according to my squatters rights as applicable to relationships in the State of California.
Help! My Son is Dating a Calvinist, and I Don’t Want Our Unrelated Family Ban on Dancing to Seem Like Pandering
My son is dating a Calvinist and there’s just no way in hell she isn’t going to think our family’s unrelated ban on dancing is anything but blatant pandering.
Darth Vader Tries Speed Dating
Why are you in a black bodysuit again? And what's up with that helmet? Why do you wear a mask anyway, Mr. Mystery?
Tinder Feature Request: Emergency Unswipe-Right for Cousins
I’m sitting at work, swiping right like I have a muscle spasm and three women have gone by when I begin to ask myself, was that Megan?
My New Stepdad is a US Military Predator Drone
I was hesitant at first. A military guy? Is he every going to be around with all those long deployments? Was my mom really ready for that life?
I Found Love at Darren G.’s Radioactive Wasteland, Southern New Jersey’s #4 Haunted Attraction
For me, a guy with mainstream sexual compulsions, the love of my life showed up where I least expected it: inside a rusty dumpster loaded with 1,000 gallons of syrupy green goo.