If I Spend 3-4 Hours Writing and Editing This Article, Do You Think She Will Have Texted Me Back By Then?
What Michelle needs to realize is that I’m not here to waste my time. But until she texts back, that's exactly what I'll be doing.
Tag: Dating
The Week I Decided to Get Tough on the (Mostly Ecological) Crimes Being Committed in My 4th Floor Loft
The Occupant begins his own thorough cleaning of his apartment. Girlfriend refuses to help, instead deciding to go to the Farmer’s Market and then to a yoga class.
The Bachelor’s Application Process is Just That: A Process
Mom wasn’t crazy about the idea of me dating thirty women at once. She said I’d practically be living with a "harem."
The Dark Side of Christian Mingle
Saundra was a hot mess of whirlwind crazy. If this was God's match for me, I shuddered to think who Satan would have picked out.
The Real Reason Trump Won Was Because Betsy Miller Turned Me Down in the Sixth Grade, and Don’t Let Anybody Tell You Otherwise
I've cracked the case wide open. It all traces back to the 1998 Tropical Para-Dance at Windy Meadow Middle School.
10 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Girl Who Relates to Every Article About What You Should Know About a Girl Before Dating Her
She is afraid of commitment, but at the same time she wants to rush things. Once things are Facebook official, it only gets crazier.
7 Enduring Myths of the Single Woman
There are a few times a year when I have the energy to have sex, but contrary to popular belief, I'm not having all the sex.
I Guess I’m Going to the Inauguration By Myself Again This Year
Asking a girl to the inauguration is a rite of passage for teens, but everybody says they're going "as a group" this year, and I can't find a stupid date.
The Things I’d Eat for Love
I’m an adventurous soul who is unafraid to eat things - terrible, weird things - in order to prove my affections for a potential suitor.
6 Recipes to Land Some Potluck Peen
Single this holiday season? Feeling lonely beside your no-bake marshmallow casserole at the last friendsgiving? Peep these recipes!
Online Dating Made Me Realize I’m the One for Me
It was on my twelfth “cheat” sign-in to a dating site when I saw something that seemed utterly impossible: I matched with myself.
Tips for My Future Tinder Matches
You don't need to write me a poem or say something witty, but if you're boring I can't help myself: I'm going to mess with you.