Death | Page 17 | Points in Case

Tag: Death

A female human getting married will choose her favorite female friends and force them to all wear the same dress for the big day.

But I had only completed five of the classes when they arrested me for sawing my roommate in half. I shouldn’t have tried such an advanced trick.

You can either let those lemons get you down, or you can absolutely crush the shit out of those lemons by channeling the inebriated fury of Thor.

I'm using my little green thumb to turn up the thermostat and the humidifier at the same time. Now I'm using both hands.

It has taken hard work to get to where I am. I am a self-made, set-a-guy-up-to-be-murdered-and-steal-his-identity kind of person.

Can you show me examples of crimes against humanity the organization has been working on? Would I be able to represent ISIS at industry conferences?

"I got this weird monkey’s paw from some dude hanging outside of Port Authority. I was trying to buy weed and he said he had something stronger? Lol"

An amazing opportunity to find quiet time and space for spiritual healing is as you sink to the ground clutching a fatal stab wound.

I caught him watching old episodes of Scooby-Doo and scribbling in a notebook. He was mumbling things like, “Oooh, that’s a good one to plagiarize.”

“I pledge fealty to you, my Pumpkin Dad” is another great example of a gourd-geous caption being used by Fall fanatics everywhere.

I hope that you will find comfort that while you are headed to the great serving bowl in the sky, your work on Earth will not be forgotten.

Unfortunately, the use of our XR line to assist in a murder of anyone is strictly prohibited.