3 Ways to Die with Dignity While Choking on an Old Band-Aid in a Victoria’s Secret
If you’ve timed it right, you will be dead before you hit the floor. Your death will look like that of a hero defending the store from a shoplifter.
If you’ve timed it right, you will be dead before you hit the floor. Your death will look like that of a hero defending the store from a shoplifter.
The men and women in my family took to snitching. My grandfather was known as the Irish Elvis because he would sing to the cops about anything.
As I’ve come down with a bad case of wet-ass this summer (medical condition), Marcus could easily catch me and force me to share the bicycle.
The new Boiling Lava Pit contains molten volcanic lava from the island of Heimaey, because here at DigiTech --- Authenticity Matters ©.
I don’t dress for the male gaze. I dress to cover my biohazardous innards so no one detects I’m a heat-seeking scaled creature.
"Oh, now, don't you be afraid, sweetheart. Death is just a part of life. It's something we're all destined to do."
Critics and moviegoers alike were enamored by Amy Adams’s "Arrival," but Amy should be fearing my arrival should she agree to face off arm vs. arm.
After extensive testing of my symptoms by repeated Googling for “huge lumps neck cancer dying,” I’ve been self-diagnosed with a very rare tumor.
Everyone talks about Kant and Gygax without bothering to read them and their writing styles are very similar.
ROUND 2: We will re-enact Alice Cooper's “School's Out for Summer” video shot for shot. Contestants may borrow as many eye-liner pencils as they need.
The eggheads at NASA say that last year was the fourth hottest on record, and yet a polar vortex of Arctic proportions has descended upon my bedroom.
If you and your partner are weighing the options of starting a family, consider incorporating your offspring as Limited Liability Children.