Death | Page 25 | Points in Case

Tag: Death

You’re probably taking a hard look at yourself, reeling with guilt at the thought of all the poor, innocent, mother mosquitos you’ve smooshed.

The Donner Party was a journey unlike any other in history. The best part is, they did the whole thing without fake crying or vlogging once.

When you die, it won’t likely be a bunch of vultures or a serial killer who see you last. It will be me, your friendly neighborhood mortician.

Feel free to thumb through the 3,500-page book, "Extreme Survival Scenarios," which is now required reading. Feel free to hang out by the buffet.

Oh, this is one of our newest and my personal favorite lines: rings made from melted-down scooter wheels

Every year there’s an escalation of more and more extreme Purge spectacles. And honest, hard-working citizens just can’t keep up.

I don’t have to worry about sun protection because we are not even sure the sun exists anymore.

And is it our fault the Giant Fire-Breathing Chicken-Killing Ray Gun didn’t work at all, and only made the giant chicken more powerful than ever?

Maybe if there was an anger rising in women from an ongoing parade of injustices being carried out against them, then I’d be a little on edge.

Our ailing bodies fall from the sky into your front yard and all you can muster is an idle comment about the beauty of our chlorophyll jaundice.

Can I just say that this is hands down (speaking of hands, I’ve got two of ‘em) my favorite Thanksgiving to date?

Give a TED talk to my family titled "The Evolution of My Personal Blogs," except every time I would usually say “blog” I have to say “blerg.”