Scenic Spots for Staging Your Own Death Before a Late Summer Wedding
To pull off the ruse, hook your David’s Bridal dress on one of the striated rocks protruding from the cliffside. Make sure it really snags and tears.
To pull off the ruse, hook your David’s Bridal dress on one of the striated rocks protruding from the cliffside. Make sure it really snags and tears.
Did Grandpa really like me the most out of all the grandchildren, and even more than some of his own kids?
I looked around: Pristine bowls, with smooth edges, not a pinch in sight. My exterior sports at least seven visible fingerprints and a hole that slowly leaks.
What do you people want from me? To jump in my bald-eagle-shaped submarine and hand-deliver it to one of your warehouses?
Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy and sacrifices everything. How are we supposed to change society if we keep glorifying these shitty images?
You think I didn’t see your ass (which was nude) swimming in Camp Crystal Lake? You know I drowned in there? That’s just disrespectful.
The oldest child doesn’t have to do it, that’s a myth. Of course you believe that, you thought chlamydia came from kissing in the dark until you were 14.
‘Twas something of a bloodbath, all told, but was this not what thou asked for? Well, Happy Father’s Day.
Acadia: Remember when life felt like the boundless ocean view at sunrise from the top of Cadillac Mountain?
I was the one who asked for it, and I had a lot of success at first: one, two, three! Three brides! Ah, ah, ah!
Any day can be your last and your family knows that. Next time your kids think of talking back to you, they'll picture you not being here anymore.
I clench my butt cheeks tightly and strut past an elderly couple, pulling on the front of a cart, sweeping it alongside my body.