Everything I Know About Receiving the Coronavirus Vaccine I Learned from Getting My Weed Card
Don’t get too cute with the disease you’re pretending to have. Obviously, it has to be a qualifying condition, but it should also be believable.
Tag: Doctors
We’re Not Denying You Had a Baby, But As Your Health Insurance Company, We Are Denying Everything Else
Next time, consider delivering in a Lyft, the cereal aisle at your grocery store, or during your yoga class. Claim denied.
Calling All Baseball Game Popcorn Vendors, Pharmaceutical Reps, and Bar Mitzvah DJs: We Need You to Hand Out Covid Vaccines
Geoff’s been out here slingin’ Coors Light at double-A ballgames for longer than most of these white coat jokers been alive.
As a Therapist, My New Patient Charlie Brown May Be a Challenge
Patient says he’s over seventy years old, but he appears approximately eight years of age. Other than this red flag, clearly has commitment issues.
5 Reasons It’s Time to Drop This Silly Malpractice Lawsuit Against Your Doctor (Written by Your Doctor)
I’m holding myself accountable and learning from this experience (I will NEVER wear roller skates while performing surgery again).
You Need to Know about These Five Cognitive Biases (Sponsored by Bayer, the New Owner of Roundup)
At Bayer, we have a duty to pretend we have a duty to have a positive impact on the world.
It’s an Honor to Be Your Band-Aid on This Momentous Vaccination Day!
I always dreamed of big things, like covering a knife cut on Mark Bittman’s finger, or a scrape on Usain Bolt’s leg, or being forgotten in Beyonce’s purse.
Hickory Dickory Doctor’s Patient Log at Mother Goose Urgent Care
Pt. Jack Sprat re-check of cholesterol ratio and general lipid panel. Wife, however, doing poorly on Nutrisystem and needs to eat leaner.
What to Do When You Catch Your Child “Playing Epidemiologist”
Remember questions from children come from bewilderment rather than an impulse to influence those in power to use policy to promote population health.
I’m Your Pharmacist, and I’m Terrified That You’ll Have Questions
Your doctor has horrible penmanship, so I'm really just going with my gut feeling here. I know exactly as much about your medication as you do.
An Email to the Dean from Jesus Christ, Medical Student
While my MCAT scores were not the most competitive, I am a self-directed learner with strong communication skills and also I died for your sins.
It’s Really Really Really Important That We as 10-Year-Old Boys Stand Together and Get the Cooties Vaccine
Let’s band together like the professional basketball players and astronauts we want to be and save the world. Listen up, I got a game plan here.