Your First Day Working in the Dog Mayor’s Office
It’s pretty classic admin stuff. Answering the phone, filing documents, keeping a calendar, making appointments, refilling the Mayor’s water bowl.
Tag: Dogs
I’ve Lived Longer than Any Dog Ever
In the eyes of a dog, I am nothing less than an eternal being existing beyond the constraints of matter and time. So where's my treat for being a good boy?
I Am the Woman Whose Dog Finds Bodies on Our Morning Walks
I tried hiring dog walkers, but I was banned from all those apps because my dog became infamous for always turning up a corpse or two.
My Only Regret in Life Is Not Petting More Dogs
I would pet little dogs, big dogs, toy dogs, and dogs that don’t even look like dogs. Boring dogs. Cool dogs. Hot dogs. All the dogs.
The Unvarnished Truth About Why Your Dog Didn’t Get Into Doggy Daycare
For starters, you named your dog Sausage. If your dog was a dachshund, this moniker might make sense.
Questions I Had While Attending My Second Basketball Game, After My First Basketball Game Was the One That Air Bud Played In
How many fouls does each player get? Do dogs get the same number of fouls? How much longer until the dogs come out?
We Do It with Dogs: Create a Perfect Shabby Chic Look Organically!
You can spend a fortune on a professional decorator, or you can hire us, We Do It With Dogs.
Recommendation Letter to an Ivy League School or Comment from Judges at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show?
I’ve spent years following and grading Mackenzie, and never have I witnessed such an unsurpassed, rare, elite pedigree.
This Moving Half-Time Speech Failed to Inspire a High School Football Team Just Because They Saw Their Coach Kick a Dog Through the Goalpost Before the Game
First off, I didn’t know anybody was watching. And never in a million years would I have guessed that the penalty would be the loss of one hundred points for our team.
A Letter to Management Written by Your Disgruntled Dog
This new hire, a human-in-training or “cute smushy baby," has been rude, selfish, and has made zero meaningful contributions to the company.
Demands from the Newly Organized Union of Hero Dogs
Subsidies of children in wells: Kids aren’t placing themselves in imminent danger far from the attention of their parents/guardians anymore.
Dear Emily Elizabeth: Clifford the Big Red Dog Is a Menace to Our Neighborhood’s Off-Leash Area
It's a dog park, not Jurassic Park. Find somewhere else for your infernal Dogasaurus rex to run amok.