A Tribute to My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
Tag: Dogs
Questions a Pet Owner Asks about Puppy Bath Time or Questions My Showerhead Asks about My Bath Time
Should I be worried that she sometimes sits there with the water spraying her in the face?
I’m a Dog Architect, and Here’s Why Your Whole House Should Be Windows
With your current design, there’s no way to know if someone is approaching. I don’t think a homeowner should ever put himself in a situation like that.
Signs Your Pets Are Planning a Coup
You find throwing stars in the scratching post. / Your search history reads: "kibble download free" "cat fail compilation" "overthrow fleshy tyrant king"
For Sale: Gently Used Dog Food
Has been inside a dog for less than five minutes. You won't see a deal like this again!
My Dog’s Actually Very Friendly, She’ll Let Go in a Minute
She usually finds people uninteresting, unless she smells fear. You’re not nervous are you?
An Open Letter to People Who Bag Their Dog’s Poo Only to Leave It Behind as Litter
Let me guess, you didn’t want to carry it around with you for the rest of your walk and you planned on picking it up on your way home?
I Am the Dog in This Not-So-Subtly Christian Movie
This movie is about me. But it’s also about love and family and loyalty and Christianity, but don’t say that last part out loud.
Holidays as Explained by Your Pets
Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.
New York City’s Most Unpowerful Couples
Brick, 47, screaming Mets fan and Chester, 42, crying Jets fan: These two brilliantly built their own empires, but still make time for each other.
“PAW Patrol” Episodes That Not-So-Subtly Promote Fascism
"Pups Go Camping" - The PAW Patrol round-up protestors, immigrants, and intellectuals to take to a mandatory camp in the woods.
Nextdoor Posts in Stephen King Novels
Whoever is driving around a 1958 Plymouth Fury and running people over, you are being very RUDE! It is LATE!