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Tag: Dogs

Episode 5: Ed Sheeran Sings, Like, 4 Times And Then Dies: I heard he didn't even sing the last time he was on the show. This will be an upgrade.

I hadn’t worked a case in a month and was hitting the sauce hard. It’s a gloopy brown sauce from a can of beef chunks--part of yesterday’s breakfast.

Maybe if there was an anger rising in women from an ongoing parade of injustices being carried out against them, then I’d be a little on edge.

Give a TED talk to my family titled "The Evolution of My Personal Blogs," except every time I would usually say “blog” I have to say “blerg.”

We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.

Explore and investigate the strange scraping sounds, trap doors in the floor, and that creepy voice that keeps whispering your name late at night.

Listen to the language, Jeff. “Designated area,” ”gentle correction.” Is this our backyard or is this Auschwitz?

9:00 pm: Apply to 27 jobs for fun (your therapist told you that “hobbies are healthy”) and get them all.

Know which spell you’re going to cast on the deli counter guy before you get to the front of the line. It’s unreal that some of you still do this.

If I get cream cheese on my nose, don’t dare lick it off, for The Lord Your Dog is a jealous Dog when cream cheese is nigh, and whipped cream too.

Take the shirt from the bottom of your laundry pile and sniff the underarms. Deem the shirt "not that smelly" and pull it over your head.

We also don't have a retirement plan because the majority of our employees only stay with us for 2-3 hours.