Everything I Hate About My Favorite Movie, Frozen
Why don't Elsa's gloves freeze when she's wearing them? Those manacles they clapped onto her hands when she was in prison sure froze though, didn't they?
Tag: Dogs
5 Signs Your Dog Wants to Go Vegetarian
These behaviors are your dog's way of telling you she wants to become a vegetarian. After all, there's no chance canines are actually biologically programmed to eat meat.
What the Dogs in the Sarah McLachlan Commercial Really Think
Every so often, abused dogs invade your television screen soundtracked by Sarah McLachlan's ubiquitous "In the Arms of an Angel." These are their stories.
I Forced Jeff Sessions to Eat from a Trough, and Now He Thinks White People are Superior to Dogs
I recently forced Attorney General Jeff Sessions to eat from the same trough we use to feed our many dogs, and now he believes that white people are superior to their canine companions.
Teaching My Ignorant Dog and Cat About Sex
A lot of animals out there haven't had the proper education when it comes to sex, which is obvious from all of the stupid YouTube videos of idiot dogs humping each other's heads.
Fido’s “Good Dog” Award Acceptance Speech
For generations, all of dogkind has pondered the age-old question: Who is a good dog? Is it me? Is it? Is it??? Now we finally know: it's me.
Ultimate Dog®: Male Dog Enhancement to Get Those Bitches Howling!
ATTENTION BREEDERS! Ultimate Dog® can make ANY Dog a Horn Dog! Whether it’s a Lazy Bloodhound, or a Gay Chihuahua, your pedigree will be looking for pussy in no time flat!
Not Such a Bad Guy: Steve Bannon Holds a Beautiful Vigil for Every Puppy He Kills
For every young gazelle killed by a lion for food, a puppy, too, must also be sacrificially exsanguinated by Steve Bannon to the Dark King of Babylon.
The Most Definitive Guide to Dogs (That I Know Of)
I've seen every dog under the sun (to my knowledge), so I thought why not deliver a little lesson in "Dog 101."
7 Incredible But True Dog Facts That Won’t Save You From the Completely Unforeseeable Collapse of the Coal Industry in the US
Incredible but surprisingly true dog facts that will in no way whatsoever save you from the fallout of the coal mine closing in your community.
Are You Batman? I’m Asking for a Friend
You really have to help me, Batman. My friend Jeff has a stray cat problem that could only ever be solved by the world's greatest K9 detective, Ace the Bat-Hound.
The Vacuum Scares My Dog, and Damnit It Scares Me Too
I think it’s the two “U’s” when I type "vacuum" that turns my knuckles white and makes the hairs on my hands stand up. Oh, and the noise.