I, John Bolton, Will Happily Testify about My White House Erotic Fantasy Novela
Mary Anne is a hawkish White House staffer in her late-20s who drafts war plans with Iran which never quite climax, but her sexual plans always do.
Tag: Donald Trump
Litter Boxes: How Scooping Clumps Became Part of Normal Life
Of course it was beyond disturbing to me, especially at work, as there were litter boxes in all the conference rooms. And nobody seemed to mind.
Diary of Nelson Perry, Swing Voter
November 1980: I voted for Ford in '76, but I’m thinking Carter can take us into the Pac Man era. Ronald Reagan isn’t qualified and he’s embraced a racist campaign strategy.
Jared Kushner’s Skin Care Routine
He hangs the skin carefully on a manikin and covers his true skin with a protective layer of mucus---the air is very harsh on his delicate scales.
8 Ways We Can Make Impeachment Hearings More Pow! Bang! Boom!
The members dance in like Ellen: Everyone loves Ellen! She’s the kind of complacent we can all get behind!
If Other Awards Ceremonies Were like the Oscars and Emmys
First off, I would like to thank the Ridge Hill Community Soccer organization for re…
Amy Vanderbilt’s Dos and Don’ts of Impeachment Etiquette
Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.
New Words for Complex Emotions in the Age of Trump
Quitticisim (kwit-??siz?m): The paralyzing decision to either delete or refresh Twitter every thirty seconds.
An Excerpt “From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts”
Standing on his tiptoes, he craned over their hunched heads, hoping to get a glimpse of the candidates.
Ramones 2020
Do You Remember Rock ’n’ Roll Radio? (It was Kind of Like Spotify) / The KKK Took My Baby Away (And Way Too Many People Seem Okay with That)
Real Estate Listings for Greenland, Britain, The White House, and More
Over two million square kilometers of sparsely populated land makes for an ideal getaway for those times when you really want to be alone.
With These Latest Mass Shootings, We Condemn the Violent Influence of Princess Zelda, Donkey Kong, and Super Mario
Mario is the lust for violence incarnate wrapped in a disguise of respectability. Those green pipes you see are hardly plumbing simulators.