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Tag: Donald Trump

Season Three of Stranger Things, Chicago Bulls: The Bulls pride themselves on giving fans the best entertainment money can buy.

Grover Cleveland was not the first, nor last, president to wear a diaper while in office, but was the first to wear a diaper made of human flesh.

Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.

Gimme a classroom full of second-string lacrosse players who are thirsty for validation---this mama’s fixin’ to teach creative writing!

CO2 emissions > Gases of prosperity | Smokestacks > Beacons of progress | Crude oil > Liquid America

The one where Phoebe divorces Mike after falling in love with Chrissie Hynde, and Tulsi Gabbard officiates at their wedding.

The crumbs on my face, the milk mustache, the hand entirely within the cookie jar—these are all circumstantial and prove nothing. NO COOKIE!

“What is it, sugar bean?” your husband said while massaging my back. Again, we’re speaking in metaphor. This can mean whatever you want it to mean!

"Sure, there’s a lot of hype around this, but I trust that he created something that beats that hype, and scares the ever living shit out of us."

Mr. Trump focused on building affordable housing, available to people of color and immigrants, whom he said “don’t get a fair shake in this country.”

We used to be doing all right financially, but we just blew our last 5 million dollars on a Superbowl ad during the most boring Superbowl in history.

From: Mike Pence Gracious Lord White Jesus, thank you for Chick-Fil-A. A family-friendly chicken restaurant that never uses the word “brea*t.”