I Combined the Two Things We Fear Most: Donald Trump’s Tweets and Sprite
Is this a modern Huxley, or is it a true fright? Lovecraft… Stoker! Oh, such a crippling thought, such my will of darkness.
Tag: Donald Trump
I Serve White House Guests the Nicest Bottles of Diet Coke
Entertaining guests at the White House, huge part of being president. I drink Diet Coke from cans, but only the best for guests: bottles or fountain.
Dear Mr. Trump, We Regret to Inform You That We are Unable to Publish Any of Your Manuscript Submissions
Regarding your autobiography, "The Real Mr. T: I Pity the Fool Who Wears Gold-Plated," this was a hard one for us, but regrettably, we have to pass.
My Car Keys are Missing, and I Blame Hillary’s Emails
I have the world's best memory, so when I woke up this morning and couldn't find my car keys anywhere, I knew Crooked Hillary was to blame.
Jared Kushner Email: “Did Anyone Find a Pokémon Backpack in the Oval Office?”
Not only might this backpack contain documents related to the fake Russia investigation, but it also has sentimental value.
Parents Need Better Access to Affordable Child Pageants
Expensive these days, having kids and taking care of them. It's hard for parents out there without easy access to affordable child pageants.
The Donald J. Trump Presidential Library Yacht Puts All Others to Shame
More visitors than Reagan's! Fewer tears than Kennedy's! Less graffiti than Bush's! The Donald J. Trump Presidential library is legit on fleet.
Welcome to Sephora, We Invented Faces
If I'm being totally honest, I would say for youuuuu that this new blush we have called "You're An Embarrassment" would be perfect.
Barron Trump’s Letter to Santa
Hey Santa, could you spend a little time with me this year after coming down the chimney? You know, discuss Bitcoin valuations and eat some cookies.
9 Christmas Movies for the Whole Family (Updated to Reflect the Latest Hollywood Scandals)
Check out these classic movies to watch with your family this Christmas! (Unfortunately, recent Hollywood scandals have forced us to update this list.)
9 Perfect Holiday Gifts for the Trump Supporter in Your Life
Essential gifts for the hard-to-shop-for, not-so-subtle racists, and people who still want to talk about "the emails" in your life.
I Am the Best Neopets Player in All of Neopia
You know Neopets? The little pets online. They're like animals, like animals in the world, but magical and on the computer. So fun, and I'm the best.