10 Male Variants of “Resting Bitch Face”
Resting Pitch Face – Appears on the verge of talking to you about his screenplay, TV pilot, or tech startup (avoid elevators).
Tag: Douchebags
Baking for Sadists
You're enjoying this, aren't you? You’re the kind of person who kneads dough for an unnecessarily long time to be sure the yeasts can't escape.
Dear RIAA, Please Require a “Step-Parental Advisory” Sticker on All Late 90’s Nu Metal Albums
I am fairly certain my stepson is going to murder me. These albums have turned what's left of His heart as frosted as the tips of His hair.
Fun Things to Do in the Big City If You’re a Douchebag
Steal a seat from a pregnant woman who was about to sit down, then pull out a copy of "Angels & Demons" and bury your head in it.
An Open Letter to the Adult Man in Target Who Decided He Didn’t Want Keebler’s Coconut Dreams
As I picked up the box of cookies, I imagined a world where everyone thought it was okay to leave items they didn’t want anymore wherever they please.
How to Have the Perfect Hollywood Meeting
Other topics conversation should focus on famous people you’ve worked with or in relative proximity to, and how long it took to get to the meeting.
The Realities of Being a “California Girl”: SoCal vs NorCal
While I am from California and a girl, I did not grow up inhaling the sea breeze, or riding shotgun in the red Jeep of a blonde guy named Chad.
Please Reconsider Me for the Role of “7-Eleven Cashier #1”
Sorry for barging into your casting office, but I believe you're making a huge mistake. Dare I say it, a monumental casting blunder.
Welcome to Surf School, Where Everyone is Raw AF and Nobody Slept in a Bed Last Night
There's only two types of surfers: braindead fuckheads, and guys who have checking accounts. Now, split up accordingly everyone.
Assholes Brace for the Arrival of Self-Driving Cars
The same folks who tailgate, casually cut you off, and pass you on the shoulder now face no longer being able to terrorize fellow drivers.
All the Reasons Why My Screenplay, “Detective Tarantula: Web of Conspiracy,” Is Not Terrible
When I asked you to read this screenplay, I was looking for you to recognize it for what it is: a bold, dark, and emotionally compelling narrative.
Interview Notes from Trump’s Personal Biographer
If I push hard enough, will this pen go into my brain? Will the Secret Service stop me? There's no way I'm leaving alive; I've seen too much.