In Defense of Mansplaining
What can one do when legitimately tasked with explaining an abstract concept to a woman of demonstrably inferior intelligence?
Tag: Douchebags
I’m an Obnoxious White Hipster Who Never Really Liked Prince, Now What?
I fit every criteria for a stereotypical Prince lover: I'm white, and I'm an obnoxious hipster. But I can't help shrugging and letting out a pithy "meh."
My First Assholes Anonymous Meeting
Welcome, everyone, to the North Jersey Chapter of Assholes Anonymous. Before we begin, please take this opportunity to make sure your cellphones are ON.
The Absolute Douchebag’s Guide to Driving
When selecting a truck, always remember the golden rule: the bigger, the better. This rule will apply to almost everything we talk about, other than your tank top.
The Cunt of Celebrity
It’s difficult to argue a case for celebrities: why we need them, what good they do, and why we shouldn’t rummage through their bins and sniff their dirty underwear.
Reindeer Farts are Melting the North Pole (And Other Intimate Confessions from Santa)
150 years of the expectation of delivering gifts to billions of children every year has turned Santa into a dick. Here's what he confessed to me.
10 Things to Post on Facebook If You’re a Total Dick
Avoid posting about the weather, news, your feelings, or "inspiring" Latin quotes, unless you want people to think there's something seriously wrong with you.
How Sexist are You? The Misogyny Test
If you're a modern man, chances are you hate women. Don't be afraid, it's natural. After all, they use their vaginas to gain an advantage in life and you can't do that.
Why is All Man-Themed Stuff Also Douche-Themed?
From sports-themed haircut places, to restaurants and TV shows that highlight and exploit douchery, the perceived image of what guys like is ridiculously exaggerated.
Douchebags of History: Thomas “Puppy Killer” Edison
Thomas Edison exuded hatred, greed, and asshattery like a dead, bloated walrus exudes postmortem gas buildups. That is to say, constantly, putridly, and smellingly.
The 10 Most Common Forms of Douchebag
Douchebagism is a cancer that has metastasized throughout the social fabric, infecting the masses with narcissism, and we must seek to classify and destroy it.
How to Play Guitar, For Douchebags
First, ask yourself why you want to suddenly start playing the guitar. Most likely you either A) want to impress girls or B) nothing else. Great!