My Car Keys are Missing, and I Blame Hillary’s Emails
I have the world's best memory, so when I woke up this morning and couldn't find my car keys anywhere, I knew Crooked Hillary was to blame.
Tag: Emails
Jared Kushner Email: “Did Anyone Find a Pokémon Backpack in the Oval Office?”
Not only might this backpack contain documents related to the fake Russia investigation, but it also has sentimental value.
Customer Review: Product Blew Up Grandmother
I noticed that when my grandmother powered on her MXB39FLB7 it made a series of uncharacteristic clicking sounds prior to her detonation.
Re: Need a Date to My Office Holiday Party
I saw your Craigslist ad about needing a date to your office holiday party. Here's more about me and why you should take me as your plus one!
I’m Finally Going to Get My Shit Together and Back Up My iPhone
This time I'm really going to buckle down and clean up my digital clutter. But not before I add some dream vacation spots to my Pinterest board.
I Asked 10 Doctors About This Thing On My Neck—Here’s What They Said!
"It's taking up a third of your neck and appears to have green veins extending from it. This can't be good." -Dr. Jennifer Miller, DDS
Honest “Working From Home Today” Emails
Hey everyone, gonna go heads down on this project from home today. I concentrate a lot better in my apartment since I don't have to do boring things there such as my job.
Help! I’m Trying to Find a Dubstep Version of the Musical “Wicked,” But Every Time I Google “Wicked Dubstep” I Just Get Really Badass Dubstep
Dear Broadway.com, sorry to bother you, but I’ve got a serious problem. Every time I Google the phrase “Wicked dubstep” I just get a bunch of awesome dubstep songs.
The Six Stages of Life According to the AARP Mail You’re Currently Receiving
Whatever fancy stuff you’ve been told about the progression of aging, is in reality too complicated. The real lies in your AARP mail.
7 Emails Your Dad Sent You That are Sure to Bum You the Fuck Out
I know you're busy with your groovy friends probably listening to rap music, but your old man just thought he'd check in!
Forgetting Your Password: The Five Stages of Grief
There's no way I entered this incorrectly; I watched myself do it the right way ten times now. Why would I get my password wrong? It's MY password.
Exactly How “Sincerely” Did You Mean in Your Email?
With so many email sign-offs to choose from, none of which bear any relation to the way you talk in real life, even to ladybirds and Mormons, which should you opt for?